I am fighting a big headache right now so I apologize if this posting is jumbled.  The headaches, after Tuesday, have let up till today.  Tuesday was the roughest day so far since we have been on the antibiotics. It was a strange day and I was afraid that I would wake up Wednesday with things worse. I told Chris if the pain got any worse I would need something for it.  But, Wednesday, I woke up and was in pain but near as bad as Tuesday and it was in different areas. My lower back was really bothering me which Chris said sounded more like the "flu" like symptoms we were expecting. I did school with the girls laying in Becka's bed.  I was able to function a little better but than was exhausted by about 2 but the day, on a whole, was much better.  Thursday was as if I never had Tuesday.  I was back to my typical Lyme self where I am sluggish but not in a whole lot of pain.  I took Becka to gymnastics and when we came home we layed on my bed and played Connect Four and I tickled the mess out of her with my cold feet.  By the time Chris and Madilyn got home I was exhausted and completely spent for the rest of the evening but I haven't "played" like that in months, maybe a year.  It felt so good to have some one-on-one with Becka and to be able to have fun with her without being a bump on a log.  Playing with her was well spent energy in my book.

It was incredible to look back at the previous week and a half.  But than Friday came again and I have to say I greeted it with a little apprehension knowing that we were going to full dosage this weekend.  I wasn't sure if it would be a rough weekend again, although I would welcome it with open arms if it meant a herxheimer reaction.  I have noticed a cycle of every 4 weeks the weekends are a little rough and it appears that they have gotten rougher.  Burroscano's paper mentions the herxes being cyclic but that they would get easier as time past.  I don't believe we have had a herx before last weekend and we haven't gotten confirmation that last weekend was a herx.  It still blows my mind how bad Tuesday was and yet I was at such peace as if being carried and cradled by big strong, protective arms.  There really aren't words to describe it.

After last Tuesday we definitely had some questions for Dr. Salvato.  Because I don't communicate well (I tend to forget what I'm going to say and I don't think clearly particularly on the spot) and I don't remember things well, Chris called her office to ask our questions.  I was so afraid we would be told Tuesday wasn't a herx.  Chris called and left a message.  A lady from the office called him back but said she couldn't speak to him because he wasn't the patient and so he gave them my cell phone number.  I didn't realize this so when they called it woke me up from a nap and I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number.  By the time I figured it all out it was 5:00 p.m. I called and left a message and her office called me the next morning.  I had my notes so I could remember what I was going to say and so I could take notes but I wasn't allowed to ask any questions. I was told that if I had questions I needed to make an appointment.  I felt this was all unusual but nothing about Lyme has been anything but unusual.  I sense that they are watching their p's and q's very carefully and are being extremely guarded.  This works for me as I would rather speak to the doctor face to face with Chris so there is another brain in the room to help me remember and interpret.

So, we have an appointment tomorrow morning to ask her some of our questions.  Among our questions we want to know if last week was possibly a herx.  Dr. Salvato at our last appointment had mentioned something about immunoglobin and if it was a certain level they could give me something through the midline to support the immune system.  All we know is the first set of labs showed the level to be normal. The second set of labs she stated they were waiting to get that test back...we need clarity on this. We are also hoping to get clarity on which specific co-infection we have.  It appears I may only have one which would be a blessing and will make fighting this stuff a little easier.  We are going to ask what the plan is after the midline.  I fear making progress with the midline and than it having to come out or insurance discontinuing their coverage.  At this moment we are covered through May 2 with the midline but only April 28th with the actual medicine.  This was after being denied because somebody somewhere had the wrong address and birthdate.

So, it has been a fairly typical weekend despite the increase in Flagyl.  After Tuesday, this weekend felt pretty easy and doable. I struggled this morning feeling steady and stable and getting the girls ready but I ventured to church.  It felt good to be in His house. I came home, got some food in me and did my IV dose and went to bed.

Last Monday I had an experience where I felt the Lord tell me something but what I felt He told me has had me thinking since then.  I wasn't going to say anything to Chris about it as I continued to ponder what I thought I heard but then Monday night as we were praying with the girls before bed, Becka prayed something that completely floored me and I had to share with Chris my experience earlier that day.  Monday night I prayed that if it was really God talking to me, which the message was so unusual I had a difficult time thinking it came from my conscious, that He would remind me of it the next day.  Tuesday came and it was my most difficult day and yet I immediately remembered what had happened and even in the midst of how I was feeling I was at such peace.  It has impacted several moments in each day since.  On one hand I feel I should be blatently honest in my blog but the other hand I don't feel this would be accepted well and so I continue to ponder and pray as to what I am to do with the information.

I covet your prayers as we go into our appointment tomorrow morning and as we continue to face this disease day after day.  I would like to say I have seen very subtle differences but am guarded in doing so only to find out they aren't improvements after all.  This last week was made more feesable due to some very sweet people blessing us with their time and talents.  It is really incredible how one gesture will carry you a long way.  People truly are the hands and feet of Christ.  Thank you for allowing Him to use you.