Bottle of Time

With His Grace and the help of people we are hanging in there.  I say that not because its been horribly bad or tough but because I know without the first and the last I wouldn't be able to get through.  After not being able to keep food down yesterday (it happened again shortly after I blogged last), we have been able to keep food down so far today (and the day is almost over :)  ).  Chris was at the beach today with the youth and I had a sweet lady at the house all day to help me and my girls. I am pretty sore and am trying to stay on top of the pain meds but not wanting to be on them.  I am in no hurry to get back to "hard" foods and am quite satisfied with yogurt and applesauce. Oh, the food complex I am going to have by the time this is all over with.  Let's just say the Lyme diet is out the window and we are in the "survival" diet mode.  Applesauce and yogurt never sounded so good (or jello).  I did manage to get chicken noodle soup down with a couple crackers for lunch.
Since I last blogged I keep thinking of things I wish I had included but knew that I wouldn't be able to put into words everything that was on my heart.  Today I was thinking (still have lots of time for that...good thing it still works most of the time...sort of) and what was on my heart today can be summed up as: "I am blown away by some people and then I am blown away by some people".
I have been blown away, floored, caught off guard, completely touched and ministered to by people this week.  I never expected the visitors I had at the hospital or the offers we had for helping with the girls, or the all day help I received today by one of the least selfish people I have had the privledge to get to know, or the generosity and thoughtfulness we have received for my family, especially for my girls.  People who have given so freely of their time. I get especially touched when their are arms reaching out for my girls.  I do worry about them in this journey and how it is effecting them.  I have especially seen the effects on Madilyn since we got home, but as I look back I have seen it in the last week or two.  My happy go lucky kiddo who is happy and full of energy from the minute her eyes open till they close at night (because she refuses to take a nap and yet clearly needs one).  She has become a tad sensitive when things happen like dropping a cup of milk, or when spoken to in a disciplined manner. She will cover her eyes with her hands and begin to cry.  Today I made an effort, knowing that for the last week we haven't had a lot of snuggle time, to find a way to hold her despite the very tender abdomen.   Becka, on the other hand, in this last week appears to have thrived off of being able to help others help us and yet completely broke down and cried one night on the phone with me and balled and balled.  It breaks my heart.
At the beginning of the summer I went through catalogs looking for things that we could do, knowing we would be spending our summer days more at home then anywhere else, and most likely with me not feeling well or having much energy.  We bought a couple games as I noticed that on the days I was in bed, they liked to hang out with me on my bed.  We picked up Blokus and What's Gnu? and have had the joy of sharing Blokus with many others.  Both girls continue to amaze me every time we play it.  I love to see their little minds work.  I wanted to pick up a couple things new and fresh and fun.  I even planned some weeks (it only took me half the summer to plan them) with a couple little science activities and bible stories with activities, knowing I may or may not be able to follow through.  This week was supposed to be our first week, huh! Becka has been begging for piano lessons again.  We had tried doing them last Fall but once we moved to the DW (double wide) I took a turn for the worse and I just couldn't be what I needed to be for her as a teacher and a parent.  Last Friday, we started them up again, only this time Maddie started as well, only for our first week to be disrupted with me in the hospital. I figure the hard part is done, the planning.  I have the plan and we will execute on days I'm able.
Wow! Just as I type that I think, "Wow!  That is kind of like God.  He already has the plan.  All of it. He will execute one way or the other".  Sorry. I make connections as I'm typing, but I think most of the time I'm the only one who sees the connection or gets them because of where I'm at.
I had planned many weeks ago that Becka and Maddie would go to this gymnastics parents day out thing for yesterday.  I knew there was a good chance one of their bestest friend would be there and it would give them time to play together. Come Monday evening I knew it wasn't going to happen as I had planned.  Before I was released from the hospital Chris gets a text from the other parents offering to come get the girls Wednesday afternoon, keep them over night, take them to the gymnastics place, and then bring the girls home.  Sure enough, thats exactly what happened complete with dinner for the Chris and the girls to eat when they got home.
The day we got home from the hospital I sent Chris to the post office because I was expecting boxes with the girls curriculum for the Fall (I am so excited!! Such a teacher at heart!) He came home with another box and opened it to find 6 individually wrapped presents for the girls with a card that said, "Becka and Maddie".  I recognized the return label, and then I remembered them asking me for our mailing address.  I never imagined what it would be for.  The girls got home yesterday from a sleep over and sat with me on the couch and each opened three of the presents after reading the card.  The card, written so thoughtfully, affirmed them for helping out at home.  The gifts were a couple books (both of which we have already read several times), 2 sets of twistable crayons (they love those) and a big coloring pad full of big pictures to color and a mosaic art kit (if you haven't seen these you have to check them out).  Something new and fun and fresh for the girls to do and something they can easily do in Mommy's bed if need be.
The lady that came to be with us today while Chris was at the beach with the youth, brought crafts for the girls to make.  Maybe its my poor feeble brain that just doesn't think of things any more or maybe its the extreme thoughtfulness of people and them following through with the kindness in their hearts.  Its extremely touching! My first thought when the girls opened the gifts was, "God's taking care of them also".  I know of several people who have voiced very tenderly prayers for my girls and its times like these that I see them answered.  Pretty cool to hear the prayer spoken by one person and God using another person to fulfill it. In our day and age of selfishness and hurriedness and everything else, it blows me away when people take time out and give of themselves.
Time is a precious commodity. It takes time to drive up to a hospital. It takes time to sit with a friend all day and time to come straight from work to sit with a friend till 10:30 and then drive home late. It takes time to pick things out, have them wrapped and shipped. It takes time to spend an entire day at someone's house to make sure they are okay and that the children are cared for and that things around the house are done and also think of things to bring to do with the children.  It takes time to plan those things.  It takes time to bow your head and ask God to help someone else besides you and your family.  It take time away from your own family and self to go in the middle of the night to watch someone else's children while the parents go to the ER.  It takes time away from family and self to go be with children all day and night while the parents are in the hospital.  It takes time to bring home someone else's children and keep them over night so their parents can come home from the hospital and begin resting and healing.  It takes time to send a text or an email to say, "I'm thinking of you" and "hope you are feeling better". It takes time to come up to the hospital at 6:00 a.m. to pray with us and be with us till surgery.  It takes time to find a card and sign it and put it in the mail.  It takes time to plan a meal, fix it and bring it over (not to mention typing the recipe out on the top).  I think of the song "Time in a Bottle"...only for its title.  If I had an empty bottle this time last week (which I didn't because of those who have taken time before the surgery) it would be over flowing right now with the time other people have given to us.  And these are just naming a few.
In some ways I'm uncomfortable that people have spent their time on us and I feel unworthy and embarrassed that we need it, but that thought is quickly replaced with thankfulness that people have allowed God to use them to help us and minister to us and bless us. All I could think of today is I wouldn't be doing as well right now if it weren't for the time others have spent on us.  I am still uncomfortable with it but its only because I am anxious to join the team.  I still feel like I am on the bench watching the game and begging the coach to put me in.  I look forward to the day when I can spend my bottle of  TIME.