Midline Yanked

I got up this morning and it wasn't long before I was grumpy. I'm not completely sure (I have my theories) what is going on. At lunch time Chris hooked up the IV pole. We had noticed that since the last dressing change the infusions were acting different.  They were taking twice as long. Up till today we thought maybe it was something we were doing (i.e. trying to lay down and rest during infusion) but I did notice a kink in part of the catheter between the stat lock and where it goes into the arm.  So, I tried really hard to keep the arm really straight during infusion but it was still take longer for it to complete (1 1/2 hours turned into 3-4 hours).  So, today we tried to keep it as normal as we could.  Chris did say when he was flushing it before hooking it to the IV bag that it was more difficult to flush. I didn't want to hear this because I knew that meant this midline was coming to an end and we didn't know what that would mean.
As soon as Chris got the Iv flowing my arm began to hurt and it hurt pretty good and I felt weird physically as if the medicine was going somewhere it wasn't supposed to.  I sat there thinking that the pain wasn't excruciating (nothing has come close to the day with the gallbladder) but the thought of enduring it for 3 or more hours was daunting and then to do it again tomorrow?  I have a high tolerance of pain but I don't tolerate long periods of pain. The pain kept going with some moments worse then others and some moments better but hurting all the same. We put a call into Quality Infusion to see if it needed to be checked (duh! We knew what they would say). Once again, Becka had gymnastics so we were headed that way anyway but if they were going to pull it I didn't know what it would entail and I wanted to be sure I had Maddie covered, and Becka covered if things for some reason went too long.  Chris made a call and arranged for Maddie to go hang with one of the sweet ladies from church.  I really felt I needed (and wanted) someone to come with me in case I needed them.  Again, I like the extra brain because mine doesn't work in processing and remembering. But, feeling like it was too much of a hassle calling people and at such short notice, coupled with needing so much help lately and getting help at the house and in meals, the last thing I wanted was to bother another soul to come help me. So, I convinved myself I would be fine and that they would probably just do a dressing change and then I would be back at gymnastics in no time watching Becka. I sat on the floor hoping that gravity would help it flow faster but it didn't. I was hooked up 2 1/2 hours before I needed to disconnect it to leave. My arm quit hurting after I disconnected the IV.
I dropped Maddie and Becka off at there prospective places and then arrived at Quality Infusion to find only one chair left. I was so glad I didn't have Maddie because when that place is full it becomes no place for her both in seats and in what they usually have on the TV, etc. Keep in mind that I am fortunate enough to do my infusions in the comfort of my home. Some people come in and are there for 3-6 hour infusions. I was asked where it was hurting, I pointed to my upper arm and the nurse wrinkled up her nose as if to say that it wasn't good.  She agreed that there was a kink and that the kink could have been why it was taking infusions so long, but she said that didn't explain the pain. She called up to Dr. Salvato's office (its amazing how fast they can get a response from her and it takes us weeks) and they told her to take me to the ER and have it checked out. You are kidding me, right? I was trying to stay out of the ER. I was feeling stupid for even coming. I didn't want to go through a whole ordeal...I just wanted it declared good to go, change the dressing fixing the kink, and then send me on my way.
Nope! Didn't happen.  So, I get to call Chris and tell where I am.
They initially were going to pull out the midline to examine the arm/vein. I questioned if this was truly necessary to check the vein.  The doctor made a call. They ran blood work to check for if the blood has fibrin in it which is a clotting material.  Their concern is that there was is a clot in the line/vein. Then the next thing I know take me a room to do an ultrasound on the arm. Yeah! They didn't take the midline out. I figured we were good to go. The ultrasound took an hour! At first it felt pretty routine and he said he was almost done. Then, I noticed he kept going over the same area and I was in there for quite a while. When he was done he said that there were two areas that were inconsistent but he couldn't tell what it was. Basically, hewould leave it to the radiologist. He went out to the ER doctor, he was on the phone and not five minutes later I'm told they are pulling the midline out. OH Man!!
So, they did. It was painless and totally weird watching this foot long catheter just slide out. They put in a peripheral IV in my left hand that will have to be changed out every 4-5 days for the remaining 2 1/2 weeks we have on the current medication order. That is if Dr. Salvato doesn't prescribe another midline, but from the sounds of things, with us close to the end of this order, she won't unless she prescribes another order.  She may see the radiologist report and go either way. We may meet with her on the 14th and she could go either way.
So, I exchanged the midline in the right arm for a peripheral in the left hand (and this was after they drew blood for lab work from the left hand).  My body is so confused. I have trained my brain not to use my right arm so I go to use the left and it hurts so I go to use the right and there is gauze that won't let it bend so it remembers its not supposed to be in service, but now it is. I have typed this with only the right arm because to remotely move the left hand hurts.  I can tolerate the pain but not for days or weeks. The nurse honestly felt I would be back in before Friday needing a new one.  There is a part of me that feels I failed having to have the midline pulled.  It truly is my best defense and I don't feel we have seen enough change before getting off of it. But, this is where trust comes in. Trust the doctors that they know what they are doing but most importantly trust God that He is in control of everything.  While I was at the ER and having the ultrasound done I was praying (mainly for Chris but for the doctors) and in my head rang, "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." In that simple truth I rest and find strength.